The ghost that came back.

So... My ghost came back. 

Well, I went searching for him because I had to find some closure. No one should ghost a person without giving them a reason. So I went searching for the reason, and he gave it to me. And the story goes like this.

A week before he ghosted he was not really consistent with his communication. He would go to bed without saying goodnight and when I called him my phone calls would go to voicemail. He would wake up the following morning and text me like everything is alright. I picked up on this behaviour change and decided to tell him. I must say, I was a little harsh with the way I addressed the issue but I was frustrated and told him that "he can do better". These words were enough for him to disappear or "remove himself from the situation" as he puts it. 

According to him, he was doing his best to be consistent with his communication even though he is a busy person. I mean, I am also a busy person, but then I know that I should prioritise checking up on my partner, especially if we have not been talking throughout the day. That one call a night would make a huge difference and would reassure your partner that they do cross your mind. But then I guess that is all just too much, it's clingy, it's attention-seeking. it's just... too... much...

 

Anyway 

We spoke about what happened and decided to give the relationship another chance. Since everything was rushed the first time, he decided that we should take things a bit slow this time around and get to know each other. But things were different, everything felt forced. From forced conversations to forced affection, nothing was natural. The same problem that caused his disappearance the first time came back and this time around we soft-ghosted each other. Texting became less, calls became less and eventually, we stopped talking altogether. I am content with all that happened, there is no need for closure, we move!

With this experience, I learned that you should never give relationships second chances because the same reasons that made you two break up the first time will be the same reasons that will make you two break up the second time around if not addressed properly. But then you know everything will be fine (Go tla Loka)